I have created this Site as a means of sharing my own trip through the system with those who know the experience well, as well as those who don't. Together we can get BEYOND the reductionism of psychiatry's imposed parameters and find REAL understanding and healing for all.
Monday, July 17, 2006
Looking Into The Mirror
Same Reality: Opposing Viewpoints
By Patricia Lefave, D.D.(P)
But (and that’s my BIG but) There is an imbalance of power added that changes it all.
The only things preventing the truth about all of this from being exposed for what it is, are the ‘fragile’ egos being protected from it and the concrete power used to protect the system, and ensure it’s concealment that has been obtained by those who don’t want to know the truth. For if they knew, they would have to deal with it and change. Because of the split between the powerful and the powerless, one point of view is promoted, encouraged and vocalized, and the other is suppressed, invalidated and silenced. What you believe is ‘help’ depends upon your point of view.
To make this point visible, I present here my own silenced viewpoint, opposite that of the group. This is what my judges and assessors make sure they don’t have to know. These are the things I would have let them know if I wasn’t silenced and threatened with ‘treatment’, and if I believed it would do any good to go out there and try to confront a mob mentality. I already know that is pointless. I will keep it simple for those who just don’t get it.
This is reality with the gag off.
For this little exercise, there will be three lines per incident.
The first line is a statement of fact. (F)
The second line is the group judgment, or ‘groupthink.’ (GT)
The third line is my suppressed point of view (MV)
The group involved of course, will do everything they can to make themselves appear to be right, and the target of their judgments to be wrong, for that is the nature of this beast. It exists in a ‘milieu’ (psychiatric jargon) of abstract totalism, just like any dysfunctional psychology.
Fact: Bus drivers watch me and report my movements to someone.
GT: We have to watch her in case she does anything. Apparently she ‘thinks’ she is being watched and reported on.
MV: Who the hell do you people think you are? Stop watching me and reporting on me, get back into your own boundaries where you belong and stay there! YOU are my ‘problem;’ the source of my so called paranoia.
Fact:
People I do not know are discussing my experience a few feet away from me.
GT: She thinks even strangers are talking about her.
MV: You ARE the strangers who are talking abut me right now. Why don’t y9u know that?
Fact: A group of nurses talk about me in the third person in my presence.
GT: Do you think she is hearing voices too?
MV: Yes, you bloody morons. I’m hearing voices right now and they belong to you, standing here four feet away, ‘observing’ me and talking bout me like I am not here. Why do you think I kept believing the HAD to be a ‘joke’ for so long?
Fact: the group listens to a message left for my protagonist and them on my answering machine, in which I repeat back to them the things they are acting out for me all day.
GT: Who do you suppose she is talking to?
MV: I am talking to you, who are listening to what I am saying while pretending, with your split minds, you are NOT doing that, and convincing yourselves that you are ‘hiding’ the truth from me, even though you KNOW that you are not.
Fact: I was not working as I was forced out of my job, and my employer was told that I was seriously mentally ill, and too 'dangerous', without any prospect of recovery. Another ‘secret’ being kept.
GT: Why doesn’t she just go and get a job? I guess that would be too much like work wouldn’t it?
MV: I already had a job. I was forced out of it, at least partly, because my judges didn’t approve of my job. So they told my employer I wasn’t fit to work, sent me to a psychiatrist for ‘help,’ who then suggested to me a place I could go to get help, to find a job, which I already had, but was forced out of to get some ‘help.’ By the way, the place they wanted to send me to get a job which I was judged incapable of doing anyway, was for people up to 26 years old. I was 47 at the time. This is what is called ‘help’ and it’s the kind of ‘help’ you can’t refuse , since if you do, you are seen as ‘resistant’ which will only get you even more ‘help.’ Now my employer (who has been told I am dangerous and who was encouraged to send me a form so that I could be forced onto a pension as a 'solution' absolving the psychiatric hospital staff of responsibility) doesn't give me any work, though I have hear rumoured that they have been asked to do so and claimed they did not now how to contact me or "when I was home." Of course, that could be another load of you know what which someone in my city made up as another good story, but I tend to believe the ones that turn out to present some truth in concrete reality.
Fact: Bus drivers line up together in the town square to watch me coming to catch a bus. All are smirking as I approach, all eyes focused on my face.
GT: Apparently they think people are laughing at them all the time. (Laughs) What makes them think that people have so much interest in them anyway? (Laughs again)
MV: You are the numbskulls doing the laughing. Why ARE you so interested in what I think, feel or know? Why are you denying what you are doing right now? Why can’t you connect yourselves to my report of your own behavior? Can’t you hear yourselves? Does your right hand not know what your left hand is doing?
Fact: Table wipers at the mall food court point me out to each other as they observe and assess me. (They don’t actually know me at all of course)
GT: She just comes out here to look for him. (har har har) Watch her. She gets out a notebook and writes things down. Isn’t she crazy? What do you think she is writing down?
MV: I come out here because I was forced out of my job and told I am too crazy to work. I come out here to buy a four pack of toilet paper. I come out here to gather information from a city with an abundant supply of fools who are using me like an object for your projected crapola so that you don’t have to face the truth about your own arrogance and stupidity.
I come out here, take out my notebook as I eat a donut, and make notes about things like your commenting on the fact that I am making notes about things, about you and your lack of awareness. For this, you manipulated idiots, is the dysfunctional Pi of my personal protagonist’s ‘recreation.
Stay tuned to this blog for the follow up article, Antagonistic Social Syndrome and how to diagnose it. It answers the question, ‘Are you suffering from being an A.S.S.? or, do you HAVE A.S.S.?
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