Understanding What Aggressors and Enablers ‘Think” They are Doing

By Krystal Klarity

Reposted here with the author's permission.

One of the major factors which contribute to the breaking down of individuals is the use by aggressors and controllers of ambiguous or vague communications. Some people (not ‘all’ or none’) do this quite deliberately when operating with a hidden agenda of domination.
We can and should blame SOME others.
Blame and vengeance is not the same thing. (As I frequently like to repeat, parrot like) The key word in that statement is ‘SOME.’
When you are violating my personal boundaries and I blame you for that, I am holding YOU accountable for your own behaviour instead of accepting responsibility for it myself. That is where responsibility belongs; with the violator, not with the violated. Somehow, over time, I think humanity has managed to turn this around quite neatly with barely a soul noticing a thing wrong with it.

The ‘never, always, everybody, nobody’ style of thinking that offers as communication abstractions delivered in absolute terms is right out of dysfunctional group training. We need to drop this trick from our thought processes. It is designed to AVOID resolution not find it. It is like white noise. Such abstractions do not represent reality. They are a socially approved construct used for the denial of reality or at least for the blocking of any real communication. “Everybody’s” parents don’t automatically want ‘only what is best’ for their children at all times. If you doubt the reality of that, I would suggest you ask to see some police/court reports and perhaps you will be convinced by concrete evidence to drop the all inclusive abstractions and aphorisms form your fantasy world. That world is your own ‘fabrication.’
I think it would do the world some good if we could just all stop popping pills every time we sensed a dreaded emotion may be going to bubble up from within us forcing us to take a closer look at what both we and others are really doing.

Those of you who have been the targets and scapegoats of such deluded groups don’t need what I have written above ‘explained’ to you, I know, but, you might be very surprised at just how many do. In fact, your not knowing that may be one of the reasons you can’t sort out all of the chaos around you, or within you that often results from this sort of thing. One of the things I have learned from my own experience in this is that I have to explain in very plain and detailed language, the things which seem obvious to me, as they are NOT obvious to those who consider themselves to have a much higher understanding than I do. It has been very hard to wrap my mind around this idea and I know it is for others also.

All right now back to the ambiguity problem and what it does.
The first thing it does, and the most potentially confusing, is to allow the one hearing it to project INTO it whatever it may mean to him or her. It is a natural human need to try to make sense out of communication and experience, so that is what we all try to do, but sometimes, we are trying to make ‘sense’ out of something that is not sensible in the first place. When that is the case, we could look for the sense in it till hell freezes over and never find it, simply because it is not there to find.

The fact that we project our own experience into abstractions is not necessarily a bad thing in itself, provided the one doing that projecting recognizes the fact they are doing it and it is not being done in an attempt to communicate with someone else. If however, the individual then uses that abstraction by IMPOSING it on others in his or her own terms, it becomes a problem.
W e cannot communicate in abstractions without connection to our concrete specific experience as no one can hear or understand anything they have not experienced themselves. Communicating with someone else can be done if both people are trying to do that and if one is not, it doesn’t work. We can only communicate if abstract concepts are connected to concrete experience, our own experience, not someone else’s. The reason the psychiatrized understand each other better than others is because of that shared experience though not identical is definitely closer to that of each other than it is to that of those who consider themselves to be ‘normal’ and who have not had it.

Let me show you this by using just one of the commonly used psychiatric abstractions. Hopefully, this will demonstrate concretely what I mean. These are the abstractions psychiatrists are checking in their too well trained heads when you sit with them in their cubicles as they roll their eyes up to check their previous programming.

A residential patient says, “I feel like I’m not even here.”

This is an attempt to communicate the reality of his situation to those who either can’t, or won’t hear it. He speaks perfectly plain language but is not being HEARD no matter what he says. It gets ‘interpreted’ by someone who will make it mean whatever the ‘interpreter’ wants it to mean.

So, attach the statement of the patient to the psychiatrists’ belief system and then look at it from that perspective.
The first thing the psychiatrist wants to believe is that the patient has a ‘disease’ that makes him perceive and feel as he does and what he is saying and feeling is not reality based. A ‘disease’ is causing the patient to feel and perceive reality ‘incorrectly.’ At least this is as the psychiatrist believes it to be. Most of them are sincere and genuine in their beliefs. After all, they are the ‘Faithful.’ Therefore, to the psychiatrist the patient is only expressing how his diseased brain makes him feel, “like he’s not really there.”
“Oh the poor sick thing,’ says the psychiatrist and all of those who support the psychiatrist’s presumably ‘higher’ understanding. “Why clearly we have got to label and then drug this guy so he will feel like he is really here. We will use drugs to alter his perception of reality (just like the addicts do) while hammering away at him to accept our interpretation of him as the valid one. We will pull the ‘authoritarian’ card and coerce and threaten him if necessary to get him to comply with our agenda. We will also take financial control of him and invalidate everything he says about his own experience. We are doing this for HIS good. We really and truly believe what we are telling ourselves too.”
(This is the absurd paradox in which the patent will soon find himself to be trapped)

OK now let’s look at the same statement from the patient’s point of view.
I will SHOW you how that statement can be heard as a nexus of meaning, with two opposing realties being heard off of the same line. (In both senses of ‘line’) The nexus is the point of potential meaning; the words stay the same but the meaning changes depending upon you point of VIEW, or how you see it. Here comes the Butterfly Effect as seen in Chaos Theory and from some other points of view as well.

Same statement:
“I feel like I’m not even here”

The patient feels like he is not even there BECAUSE; he is constantly being ‘interpreted’, invalidated, or just plain ignored. Nothing he says is being taken at face value. He feels emotionally and psychologically used and abused because that is what is happening to him in HIS experience with these people, even thought the psychiatrists and supporters of this paradigm of ‘help’, do not recognize what they are doing or acknowledge that fact. The patient has been objectified. He is being talked about in the third person, LIKE HE IS NOT EVEN THERE.

He is assessing his own very real experience, in direct relation to external reality and the other people in it, while being told by those participating in it, that no such thing is happening! He is also trying to focus part of the time on the internal effect it is having on him. He concludes at some point that these people who are denying what they do WHILE they are doing it, must be joking. He considers that for awhile as he watches the amused eyes and smirks on their faces, which tends to reinforce this ‘interpretation ‘ of them and their behaviour. At least he thinks that may be it until he realizes they are NOT joking and will not communicate with him directly either. He may then decide that they are deliberately trying to drive him mad, perhaps only for the sheer entertainment value of it. What other reality could there be?

His ‘interpreters’ and assessors however, are not doing either of those things. Their arrogant certainty that they understand the patient’s reality BETTER than he does, is blinding them, first to their own reality, and then to the patient’s reality as well. They are assessing his experience as self contained, without relationship to either external reality or to them and their thought processes.
That’s the problem.
Two premises of thought and judgement abut what is going on are being used and have effectively split reality itself in two.
Both psychiatrist and patient use the same words, but do NOT mean the same thing. Because the psychiatrist (and also the society which the psychiatrist leads into this paradigm) believes his understanding is better, and because he has been given the concrete power to impose his beliefs on the patient, the psychiatrist’s fabricated version of the patient’s reality and what the patient is said to ‘really’ mean, becomes the patient’s new reality, just like the self fulfilling prophecy that it is.
By the time the newly identified ‘schizophrenic’, delusional disorder, borderline personality disorder, or bi-polar disorder realizes this (if ever, as it is very hard to sort out) it is already too late. The label has been firmly affixed and all further complaints willow be heard as more proof, since they are already written down defined as ‘signs’ in the Bible of the Psychiatric Faith.

The psychiatrized can’t get out of the ‘maze’ because it is constructed of words of truth. That truth though, has been given a ‘fabricated’ alternate meaning by a system which uses them to justify itself. It validates itself by invalidating the patient’s point of view of the same experience.

The mental illness system is really a socio-political construct which has been given the control power to control others. Society is quite willing and sometimes eager in fact, to hand it’s problems to others to take care of for them. It’s pretty quick and easy now that the labelling system only takes ten to fifteen cost effective minutes. I got mine in eleven.

The reality of the patient’s experience has nothing to do with it. The system barely even speaks to the patient anymore. It doesn’t have to for who is going to be able to stop it or escape it now? Instead, others, often severely dysfunctional others, trained in community college as practical nurses, trained in psychology basics and how to check for stool in rectums, ‘interpret’ the patient’s behaviour talking and thinking according to the attending psychiatrist’s instructions on what to look for. Being told to look for signs, they usually manage to find them quite easily. This is especially true if the patient uses to many metaphors in attempting to explain something to the staff that they don’t’ seem to be able to comprehend.

When ‘experts’ are handed the mandate to decide FOR others, the nature of reality itself, all protest and attempts at debate become utterly useless. This is how ‘help’ is transposed at the nexus of meaning to become ‘help.’ It sounds the same doesn’t it? It just isn’t the same thing to both sides of those looking at the ‘help.’ If I, as the psychiatrized, resist this brand of ‘help’, the problem will only be seen to be in me, since everything I say or do after being chosen for labelling, has already been defined as part of my ‘disease process.’ This was in the works long before my own abuser ever chose me as his target.

As far as the majority who involves themselves in my experience goes, THEY see no abuser, so there is no abuser as far as they are concerned, therefore, they hear the whole event in the terms they have been told to hear it; no questions asked. (or answered either)

I have now been forced into an alternate reality haven’t I? Sounds like the ‘other universe’ or ‘alien’ places and people of psychotic imagery doesn’t it? I am sure it sounds like that for good reason. It is an accurate symbolism for what really happens that is not accepted in concrete terms of expression by those listening and assessing it. There is no escape possible from this alternate fabrication as any truth I try to tell can now only be heard by those who have accepted the ‘alternate’ version as my ‘symptoms’ proving the truth is not the truth and conversely, that the fabricated version of reality IS the truth.
Presto. Change-o. It’s all backwards. The trap is complete.

Of course, if we tell psychiatrists it is all nonsense, or point out the paradox to them, they too get angry, defensive, or just ignore us; for they are experts on the abstract, metaphysical nature of reality itself. We who are judged by them to be insane are simply delusional if we dare to believe that we understand our own experience of living better than they. They call US grandiose a lot. Occasionally, even when those involved realize what they have actually done, they still deny it and try to cover it up. What keeps this phenomenon going is all the enforced silence about it. The group also keeps silent or sometimes becomes even MORE aggressive in an attempt to intimidate the target.

The target is most often manipulated, coerced and threatened into silence as the group goal becomes the attempt to PREVENT any real resolution, not to FIND it. These psychological control tactics support the delusional reversal and keep it going stronger than ever. This is why, mixed in with the fear and the rage, we also laugh. It is utterly absurd. A Cosmic Joke.

No one is ‘winning’ in this convoluted, perverted game. The only way to win this game is to refuse to play it.