of My Own City and Any Of My Other Readers Who May be Interested
This very simplified ‘message’ off the Internet just for them, is intended for all of the gossiping citizens in my city from all walks of life who STILL don’t get it.
This is reality at the nexus of meaning. It is the SAME experience from opposing viewpoints.
THEIR gossiping, fabricating, rumour spreading evaluations of ME have been ‘diagnosed’ as MY paranoid delusions and my supposedly ‘hallucinated’ conversations.
This is both ‘sides’ of my psychiatric nurse protagonist’s ‘game’ from opposing ‘perspectives.’ This ‘Zen-like cuteness’ is my protagonist’s ‘recreation’ brought to them by HIM in this ‘concrete reality.’ This is the ‘integration of opposites’ he never expected to occur to anyone, OTHER than to he and I.
Concepts from his Game:
“It’s about your righteousness.”
“It’s about responsibility.”
The group that did this denied responsibility for it by handing it to me.
Game concept: “What you do with problems is hand them to someone else.”
To my protagonist I would believe this is heard as an instruction for power.
To me, it is an accusation of those doing it in order to ‘enlighten’ you all.
The choice offered in my protagonist’s ‘game’ is to choose between ‘power OR enlightenment.”
They who have, and who still are, participating in this so called ‘game’, many of them without any real awareness of what they are doing, are the ones who are ‘in denial.’ The reason they fight to REMAIN ‘in denial’ is so that they can avoid seeing the truth about themselves and enable themselves to sidestep ‘responsibility.’ That was stated by them this way; “We don’t want to open up a can of worms,’ heard at the psychiatric hospital where my protagonist works, on the buses and in the town square. Much of this has been acted out for me, along with threats to me personally, especially, but by no means exclusively, by the addicted community, both inside and outside the hospital.
In order to makes sure no one ELSE has to experience any negative consequences in this, they have blamed ME for blaming THEM. I have been declared to be insane for my accurate perception of my protagonist, and the group of co-workers who supported his ‘game.’ The participants on the other hand, get to be perceived as the ‘sane’ ones for denying the whole thing, claiming I am a liar and they are all ‘innocent’ of any, and all, wrongdoing. What you see here is the outcome which is expected as the ‘effect. I am ‘at effect,’ in the game jargon. (And so are they, though they don’t recognize that) My protagonist is ‘at cause’ in the same jargon and also ‘the Source’ though he is not the original ‘Source’ as that is the one who wrote It, and who sits at the ‘top of the experience.’
Now if they read this, I would like to suggest that they all get together again in the town square and see if they can come up with yet another ‘consensus opinion’ as to why I am ‘not smiling enough’ and not ‘friendly enough’ to suit all of them. Don’t forget to include some of those ‘authority’ figures from the psychiatric hospital too. While you are doing this, please keep this concept from my protagonist nurse’s game in the forefront of your minds:
“Reality is NOT that which is defined by either ‘authority’ or ‘group consensus’ but is that which you (I) experience.’
I have been telling them what this is really all about since 1994.
They are not getting it yet. Will they find even more inventive ways to blame me for seeing them as they really ARE?
We who are psychiatrized do not ‘choose’ to withdraw from reality. We get forced out of concrete reality and forced into a fabricated version of it so that no one ELSE involved will have to face it or deal with It. It is reality we are being told (or ordered) to’ let go’ of and the fabrication handed to us which we are told to embrace instead.
Many of those involved in my own ‘fascinating case’ already KNOW that, and they also know, that I KNOW, THEY KNOW. Yet they remain silent. (Well towards me anyway; they are still pretty mouthy about it with others.) They allow this to continue seemingly without conscience, or concern of any kind, for 14 (or perhaps closer to 15) YEARS now.
IF they continue to believe that denying the reality of this and keeping their silence is ‘taking care of their own interests’ (as at least two psychiatrists have told me I should expect, and implied that I am unreasonable if I DON’T) then THEY are suffering from the greatest group delusion of them all.
Doing so allows psychiatrists and many others being told what to believe as well, to CONTINUE to believe this group phenomenon, this societal ‘sickness’ does not exist in concrete reality but exits ONLY in the mind of the individual targeted for ‘assessment and evaluation.’ The longer this idea has been promoted and re-enforced, the more deeply It has become entrenched in the group mind and used as the basis for society’s methods of dealing with It. It is not questioned, not even for five seconds by the majority of people anymore.
One day though, because of their silent acceptance of this horrendous lie and It’s cover up, perpetrated over and over again, by aggressors who can never be blamed, they may find themselves as easily targeted individuals, explaining what really happened to them in concrete reality, to a psychiatrist, or perhaps a police officer, who will have been made psychologically deaf to every word they say. Many, many of us have already HAD this experience. It is at THAT point, as they are being PUSHED OUT of concrete reality and they feel themselves fragmenting under horrendous pressure, that they will finally get It. By then though, it will be too late. Once they receive their labels, or even after it has even been suggested they should HAVE them, their lives as they knew them will be over. It is then that they will be started on their new ‘careers’ as ‘intractable’ mental cases, just like me.
My protagonist’s game concept: “It’s about your agreements.”
Their agreement is to deny the reality of this as a psycho-social problem, and that agreement is what is leading everyone to death as the ultimate reality of their own human making. When we ‘fail to see what is right in front of’ us [you], (Game concept) we are doomed to ‘recreate it’ until we either get It (right) or else It gets US.
That death, which comes if we fail to get it, before it gets us, comes in a variety of packages, but it is anything but ‘natural.’
It may be suicide as the only visible means of escape from the inescapable, and/or murder, or death from the drugging ‘side’ effects, or death from despair, poverty or homelessness. Whichever one occurs though, the individual forced into psycho-spiritual isolation for his/her ‘awareness’ all too often dies completely alone with his/her truth.
There is nothing more profoundly devastating to mind and soul than being completely alone and cut off from the rest of humanity. ‘Floating in the infinite’ was my own psychotic emotional imagery for that and it was very accurate; not meaningless. I was forced into an ‘alternate universe’ designed to DO just that, so that those from WHOM I was so effectively cut off, would not have to get ‘blamed’ for anything and have it negatively effect THEIR lives.
At the nexus of meaning, the same amount of time that has passed for me while trying to resolve this, has ALSO passed for those of them who have resisted the truth and tried to PREVENT resolution. The only thing making this phenomenon ‘irresolvable’ is their refusal to resolve It. Period.
That, in my own uneducated opinion, is why my protagonist’s leader, the one who sits at the top of the experience and who wrote this game loop, thinks they are all ‘assholes.’ His rationalization for this may be that since they are, they ‘deserve’ just what they are getting.
That people, that justification for aggression against others, usually presented as: for THEIR own good, while making sure those who are performing that aggressive act can’t ever get ‘blamed’ for it, is what turns dysfunctional relating into a permanently CLOSED system which ultimately destroys everything caught within IT.
This kind of twisted thinking is the MEANS by which those who are losing everything including their own souls can be manipulated to believe that losing is really ‘winning,’ in the ‘game of life.’
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