Chicken or Egg?

By Patricia Lefave

I am walking towards a bus stop and as I do I catch the tail end of a discussion, of which I am clearly the topic, once again, between two women. (This group behaviour has been ongoing for over fifteen years now. So I have heard it all before, ad nauseum)

Today, as I approach, the one is telling the scowling other that ''out at the mall, they are not very nice to her.'' The other responds with the customary group righteousness; "Well maybe if she was a little friendlier to people they might treat her better!"
As I got to within three feet of the pair, the one telling the tale of the group behaviour of those at the mall offered me a cheery greeting and the other suddenly wiped the scowl off her face and replaced it with the customary big plastic smile. (This shift in behaviour, talk and body language is supposed to keep me from knowing them as they are you see. Doing so allows them to continue to believe that their assessments of the situation and their evaluations of me are ''correct'' and believing that, justifies the group behaviour.)
Let me respond now to that ''covert'' assessment and evaluation of me, which is par for the course, with literally thousands of people acting out here for all these years. This is my point of view on you people:

Maybe, if people were behaving decently towards me, and others like me, instead of operating in ''covert'' attacks, and destroying my life here like a well practised dysfunctional mob, and then excusing themselves for it, or denying it, I would be friendlier towards them. Do you really believe that an expectation of ''friendliness'' as a response to this kind of crap is ''realistic"?

This group behaviour which you see being performed here is the result, or anticipated ''effects,'' of the ''switch'' performed by my protagonist and a group of his co-workers at the psych hospital. You know; the performance that has been ''diagnosed'' as MY paranoid delusions since that could not have happened, and could not still BE happening, as it would not be ''reasonable'' for people to act this way? The group delusions of CONCEALMENT are always a big part of this.
It does not end because it is never acknowledged as ''real'' or existing in the first place. The failure to do so allows all of the participants to continue to believe they are ''concealed'' even while acting it all out in plain sight, from someone who is ''less than'' and to justify their group abuse of the target. The denial of it supports and enables the group dysfunction. It's not rocket science folks. It's just reality; the one you do not want to face about yourselves.
You want to make the world a better place? Try a little self focus for a change ans stop deluding yourselves that you are not seen, heard or understood by those upon whom you are projecting all of your own duplicity and then whining and complaining all day that THEY are the ones who are defective for ''whining and complaining'' about you.

I too have opinions about my neighbours and many of them are not very flattering. It is just that I am not sharing those opinions with bus drivers, passengers, library staff, my neighbours, store keepers, everyone in the health care community, addicts and mall crawlers. Please don't assume that because I am not, I HAVE no information to share. I've got more information than most of you can even imagine it is possible to have.

I once asked the staff of the Hamiltons a question and I will repeat it her again; "Imagine how much damage I could do if I were to choose to behave like you? It IS a choice you know. Why don't YOU try making a new one that shows some respect for personal boundaries. Right now, you don't seem to have any idea what those two words mean.