Monday, March 26, 2012
Bullies are Idiots
By Patricia Lefave, Monophrenic
The only way we can ever hope to get through to them is by explaining their own motivations to them in enough simple detail to penetrate the mind of a two year old having a tantrum. That is because bullies are basically emotional two year olds no matter what their chronological age or life status.
You can't say, “why are you doing this to me?” to a bully because the idiot doesn't understand the question, but always “thinks” that he does and that YOU are “stupid” for asking. That helps him to keep his own delusion going. You can't use any logic on them as logic will not penetrate illogic.
You see when you ask a bully “why,” he is happy you asked because to HIM your question indicates that you are “too stupid” to know that he is harassing you to get a distress reaction from you. Since in HIS mind, you don't know that, this then “proves” his “superiority.”
In reality, the bully is too stupid to know that the question, “Why are you doing this to me?” Actually means:
“Why are you trying to GET a distress reaction from me?” or “What did I do to you that you would do this to me?”
Unfortunately, bullies are so dull witted that even if you asked them that exact question, they would not know what “this” meant!
As the target of this you see, YOUR mistake is in looking for “logic” in the bully and relating as an equal. The bully is not operating on logic. He is operating on a basis of irrationality and that is born of emotion; emotion that is disguised. So you are not having a conversation with him as you might think. He is in a delusional state all by himself and his targets, like YOU are just props in his play of SELF delusion.
The self deluded “superior” types have to keep “testing” others because that is how they affirm for themselves that THEIR delusional state is really “normal.” In reality, they are just lost in their own “game” and it has little, or nothing, to do with YOU at all.
So think about what I am telling you here and the next time one of them goes into a “teasing” or “ridiculing” routine to see what you will do, do something he does not expect. Just take a step back, observe him acting out and perhaps say, in a very matter of fact way, to another friend with you (if possible) ”How long do you think this twit is going to try for a distress reaction? Do you think he will ever grow out of his idiocy or is it too much to hope for?” When you do this, try to sound as bored as possible but keep watching the bully as you do it.
Now if you sit in a restaurant or a food court and you are talking together about your “mental illness” which you do not believe is a physical illness as others do, try talking like this when you become aware of someone sitting nearby, alone, or with others, who seems “amused” about what you are saying:
“That guy sitting beside us looks quite amused.”
Then both, or all of you, if in a group of “whack jobs” look right into his eyes as you do this. You can actually WATCH the amused glow, which I like to call, a la Dean Koontz, the animal eye shine, turn off just as if you had hit a light switch. Making the “amused” idiots self aware has that effect on them. Remember to always be calm and act like the “objective observers' for a change, and NOT the “subjects” which is only the role into which people have cast you. In fact, talking ABOUT how, and why, you have been cast into these roles will help to put a stop to it.
Believe me, if enough people do this, often enough, even the most dull witted twit will give it up as a pointless effort to feel “superior.” That is because when you are someone like this, who needs to act out on others to feel better, feeling embarrassed and stupid as a result of your own act, and knowing that your victim, and everyone else, sees who you are, very clearly, is a result that is LAST thing such a one is looking to get as a payoff.
So give it to him; an unexpected, yet non- aggressive, payOFF...not a payBack. Don't become what you hate. Instead defuse the emotional “play” of the haters and abusers. If we all do this, we will change the dysfunctional systems that produce and support it, and, in time, maybe even faster than we think, we will break the abusive cycle for good.