Friday, July 20, 2012
Therapeutic Chats-Reality Perception
I want you all to think about the difference it makes in concrete reality when the people who are actually fabricating “stories” (gossip mongering and mocking types) are assessed as innocent and normal and those they are fabricating stories about are assessed as “abnormal” for fabricating stories about “people talking about them”; people who then DENY that they are who they are, DOING what they do.
Once the original switch in positions between the target and the other individual or group, is accepted as reality, virtually everything the one identified as the “fabricator” says or does AFTER that gets “interpreted” in whatever way is necessary to invalidate it and make it 'fit” into the group's belief system.
Dysfunctional people love the illusion of “normal” so reality gets “shifted" to accommodate the needs and beliefs of the story tellers. It generally expands “outward” because the original "fabricators", who are usually not suspected, will defend their position and often lie about it, all the way to the death of one or both parties involved in the 180.
Reality angers and frightens them which is WHY they created the split and switch defence in the first place. We now live in a world in which “covert” abusers, who operate from behind a sweetly smiling, often soft spoken facade are seen as nice and normal, while those who are the same to your face as they are behind your back are seen as “abnormal” because they won't play the dysfunctional “game.”
One of the common statements that psychiatrized people have said to me, both before and since my own psychiatrization is this:
“I didn't know how to deal with them without becoming just LIKE them.”
I can relate to that completely since reasoning with them does not work and neither does just ignoring them. For when we deal with people who have to believe that they are “always right” then OUR assigned role is that of the one who is always WRONG; and reason has nothing whatsoever to do with that.
The way we must deal with this is by exposing the dysfunctional “game” itself as we can't reason with people who are not reasoning at ALL but are only reacting defensively from the fear of exposure. So if we expose the game, they tend to back off. It is mostly a waste of time though to try to “get through” to people who do not want to have minds changed by us. What we Can do though is talk amongst ourselves about our shared experiences of dysfunction relating and we can talk publicly about why we can't penetrate the minds of the dysfunctional “normal.”
Matters of Perspective
Imagine the change it would make to the perception of reality if people who were on the receiving end of group abuse, mocking and ridiculing KNEW that those who were doing it to them weren't really “pretending to be stupid but instead were pretending to be superior in understanding and/or worth. Now think about this: think of the difference between understanding “confusion” as the result of an EXTERNAL group creation full of contradiction and chaos and that of “confusion” as a “symptom” coming from within an individual with “disease” as the cause. How does this difference change the perceptions of BOTH external reality and the individuals involved in creating and defining it for their “inferior” targets.
It is what Oprah might just call an A-HA! Moment while others might call it an epiphany or a moment of enlightenment. (the REAL kind)
It demonstrates how finding one piece of missing information can change everything you thought you knew or understood before that. It can also change the chaos of psychosis into an order and understanding that stabilizes and “heals” mental “illnesses” that were never really “disease process” in the first place.