Tuesday, August 04, 2009
At A Permanent Community "Roast"
By Patricia Lefave, Labelled, D.D.(P)
This "roast" is no honour, no joke, and definitely no "fun."
It is more like being the silenced guest at a party of never ending insults and threats,; feeling like a cooked goose being carved up and there is no way to duck out of this "party." Worse than that, the party itself is proclaimed to be your "delusion" and therefore non existent.
Pretty hard to duck out of something you are told you are not even "in." I call those of us who get psychiatrized, "sitting ducks" because the official invalidation of us as "normal" human beings, like everyone else, is similar to declaring ''open season'' on us, for those in our communities who abuse others for no other reason than the opportunity to do so has been handed to them. Since it is plain to these types that the truth we tell about our experiences is not believed anyway, we have no support and there is then nothing to stop them from acting out their aggressive impulses.
These are those who will be the first in line at the electronics store, holding the rock they will smash through the window as soon as the lights go out. They rarely have any label, though they are generally kept in check by spotlights, video cams, and a police presence. Self control for it's own sake is not even in their frame of reference. Nevertheless, they are considered to be more "normal" than us, and entitled to a hearing for their crimes before any incarceration can legally occur.
How many of these mindless wonders, harassing and threatening you every day do you think it would take to alter your personal experience of daily life? One? Three? Thirty five? How about if they were backed up by a smirking circle of watchers, enjoying the "entertainment" value of it? What if beyond that there was an outer circle of observers, some of whom frowned as they watched, or muttered amongst themselves, that it was "just awful what that group of people is doing" to that victim. Still though, they did nothing to stop it, let it keep right on happening, and later denied all knowledge of it.
If you were the sitting duck at these community roasts, that went on month after month, year after year, or decade after decade, do you think you might feel frightened, angry, frustrated or resentful? Well if you are, it will only be seen as a negative "symptom" bubbling up from within your defective brain.
Because the behaviour of the whole group and the entire event will be denied, and when it is denied, your thinking, feelings and talking about it will be seen as existing only within the apparent vacuum of your own brain "disorder." It is YOUR perception and reactions which will them be proclaimed by those who assess you as being the source, or the cause, of the problem: not "other people." For "really" nothing happened.
Welcome to the permanent psychological/physical trap and the world of the Labelled people. This is now your life. We who are not "allowed" to speak, whine, bitch or complain about what is done to us since "really," nothing happened and we are only saying it did, usually do so JUST to "seek attention or "fame."
You are now officially an object of assessment, controlled by a group of people who suffer from a profound and seemingly impenetrable naivete. You have a few choices about how you will live now:
1. It may become your new life's work to try to penetrate that resistance they have to your truth, in order to secure your freedom and be exonerated for your thought crimes.
2. You can give up trying after some time spent at it, and just wait for your life to be over. It may be a comfort to know you aren't going to live forever.
3. The treatment may well help you to get out of the trap a little faster.
4. You may be one of those who can't take the metaphysical/pharmaceutical straight jacket anymore, really lose it, and take yourself and/or perhaps some of your tormentors out of the picture altogether.
5. You may continue to fight the system as the dissident lunatic.
These are pretty much the choices that come with the labels though: Talk to the wall (or the hand) endure the treatment, take yourself out, or fight the system and all it's gung ho supporters.
It is not a "disease" that is causing the suicides. It is the non stop "dis-ease" from being told you ARE a 'disease" for having the perception and feelings you do, about your own life. It is about knowing your own truth and also knowing that it will never be heard by those who have forced you into a surreal, alternate universe which they have constructed for you, and which they insist you embrace as your new "reality." If you accept this willingly, you are a "good" patient, and if you don't accept, you may well become the feared and dreaded ''resistant, non compliant'' and potentially dangerous lunatic that must be constantly watched and assessed by the same community that drove you "mad" in the first place.
Signs and symbols of your "madness" will be seen everywhere, by virtually everyone, and will be passed along to all the other hysterics to alert them to the possibility of your sudden potential for going on a wild eyed rampage against the "innocent" and mystified, all of it in relation to nothing at all, other than your dangerously defective genetic pre-disposition to going stark raving mad at the drop of a hat. This is first made manifest by believing you have been watched, abused, and treated like a thing by others, instead of like a person. These ideas (especially those of 'reference' ) are more of your "symptoms" you see.
Once you have been completely invalidated as a human being and reality has been defined FOR you by a combination of "authority " and group consensus, you ARE an invalid. You have been made in-valid and you are now in need of a disability pension. You see, when you won't accept your new in-valid status, it is common to keep you from working at your soon-to-be-a-thing-of-the-past job, as a coercive tactic. If you take the drugs for your ''brain disease,'' that renders you incapable of holding a job, they will then "allow" you to return to the job they forced you out of in order to "help" you accept yourself as an invalid. ( of course they don't actually SAY that.) Unfortunately , since your employer has already been told by them that you are "totally disabled" and a dangerous incurable lunatic, you are no longer actually wanted at your job anyway....so you are going to need that disability pension just to feed yourself. You must not point out this obvious circular trap to your doctor of course. You don't want to appear to be ungrateful for all his or her "help." Instead, you must get used to the notion of praising the Emperor's new clothes.
After all you can't work anymore in your crippled mental state now can you? Well, OK maybe you will eventually find a little work, a bit of menial labour perhaps, which will please society as it proves you can be a little bit useful if you are drugged appropriately. That is if a kindly risk taking employer can be assured that you will be permanently tranquilized and under control. Since there are only a certain number of "conditions" and "diseases" for which you qualify to receive the disability pension you now need to survive, you must accept that the drugging for your condition can now go with that as soon as you accept the label you need to get any money. Neat little system isn't it?
But realistically, how can anyone really trust you again now that THEY know you are incapable of perceiving reality correctly and don't even have "normal" emotional reactions to anything? (You poor, poor, defective thing you) They will have to assume you are dangerous in order to protect themselves from possible negative outcomes. Besides, since you got your official label they have heard all kinds of stories about you which justify their fears. Why they've heard that you "think" that people are talking about you. They have discussed that perception problem of your quite a bit amongst themselves. They have heard you sometimes look confused or that you find others confusing.'That is a ''symptom' of yours you know. Those talking about how you ''think'' people are talking about you, aren't confused at all. They are normal and therefore see nothing for you to be confused about. Since you obviously DO, when really there is nothing to be confused about, that proves it is a ''symptom'' among many others, which "proves" the diagnosis of you is correct.
You are apparently also quite stupid and barely conscious, so it's OK to discuss you in the third person like you're not there. People don't have to worry about being rude to you since you don't know they are being rude anyway. You're too stupid to know that. Anyone who suggests you might hear them being rude is usually corrected by one of the smarter ones in the group saying something like,
''Oh, you don't have to worry about her hearing us since she is not going to have any idea what we are talking about anyway. ''
You may look at these normal people, four feet away and feel a stunned disbelief which will show quite clearly on your face. Don't be surprised if the other makes vocal note of that also.
''See how stunned she looks? Hasn't got a clue about anything.''
You may not be able to stop thinking about that brand new ''symptom'' of which you have been told you suffer: ''projection.'' You may even be tempted to laugh out loud while thinking about it. I recommend you suppress that. Laughing ''for no reason'' that the others involved can see is also a ''symptom.''
You won't be able to point out your observations to these ''blameless'' others though and you will probably have already been told by those who control you that it is inappropriate behaviour on your part to confront you abuser(s) since ''really'' there are no abusers. You only ''think'' you are being abused by others because you are crazy and that's what crazy people think.
So, enjoy your ''roast'', duck. You aren't really the guest of honour as you believe. You are the main course, your goose is cooked and this is no ''joke.''
Hey, even though it is a very stressful job and, unlike other disciplines, they don't get much gratitude from their non co-operative ''clients,'' most of them are genuinely happy they could be there to ''help'' you. Genuinely, sincerely, happy. They cannot understand that if they are happy to help you,despite how crazy and difficult you are, why are you not happy to be helped? Except of course, that your unhappiness is a ''symptom''. (sigh)
It only takes the absence of a little bit of information to completely change the meaning of your life. In all dysfunctional groups, no matter how attractive the facade may be, the goal is NOT resolution though that is what it may be claimed to be. The goal is to avoid resolution, and that avoidance is worked at, and worked at strenuously.
In such situations the creation of an alternate ''reality'' to ensure resolution does NOT come, is an absolute necessity. We who see this most clearly do not fall through the looking glass. We are pushed. That broken fun house mirror just cracks us up and that is no ''joke.'' As it turns out though, once we are through the looking glass which has ''cracked us up,'' we turn and look back through a window into a false reality on what is now the other ''side'' to us. That clear view through a window we did not know was there, allows us to clearly see the distortions of society we once thought were the standard for ''normal.''
Insanity is the paradoxical creation of a society that doesn't want to face the truth about itself as a whole, or acknowledge it's own errors, let alone move to correct them. Instead, it wants to invalidate those who see ''too'' clearly what has been there all along.
Insanity itself is the fabrication which is a self-fulfilling prophecy. Those who have fabricated it via group subjective projection remain in deep, deep denial about it, despite the evidence of their own distorted thinking and behaviour. For as long as that is the case, we who dare to see what is right in front of us, which those supposedly ''normal'' others do NOT see, will continue to talk to the walls.