Tuesday, March 21, 2006
Getting Psychospiritually Centred
By Patricia Lefave, Labelled D.D.(P)
(I wrote this a few years ago to an Internet friend from Kenya who was going through the suffering of being psychiatrized. I have removed all references to keep her privacy intact but I thought it might be worth sharing again with all of you. She was having a breakthrough at the time and feeling quite euphoric about it.)
I believe we feel euphoric when we have a realization (Eureka!) and we DO see the potential for what could be. I also think that is unrealistic to expect that to occur all at once, but needs to be seen as a goal to aim towards and can even be a purpose for life, right to the end of it. My own goal is to aim for, and focus on the realization of equality of worth for all people. To me, that means seeing and undoing any error, in both myself and others, that impedes that common goal, though I recognize that I can only undo my own.
While aiming at that, my personal stability has grown by leaps and bounds, and I think as we become used to aiming for such a goal there is much less euphoria perhaps, but also far less despair. The concrete details of my life have changed. I have accepted the rejection of many family members who are only interested in having me around if I am willing to play a false role so as not to offend. A couple of them are willing to lie. Some know, that I know, what they did, that I know they know, and they still put on an act for others of mystification, and convince them that my accusations are false, and proof of my "paranoid delusions." They know I know they do this. They do not care, as long as they can keep the truth about themselves hidden from the rest of the group.
I have lost friends who do not like what I say openly and do not like my stance against corporate psychiatry, nor the fact that I have outed myself as a labelled person, in order to fight the status quo. But, I feel more integrated and whole than I ever have before in my life and after accepting the losses, which at one time in my life I was sure I would never be able to bear, I have found that I am gaining acceptance by a new group of people aiming for a similar goal. Now I feel more like my genuine self than I ever did while I was working for acceptance or approval from those who wouldn't give it and closer to a different group of people with a more honest and open agenda.
I can talk about these things to people who want to hear them, but I also know that many don't, and can't, because they hear the "symptoms" they have been taught to hear and not me at all. I have to know that I have the right to speak and that the other person has the right to reject what I say.But I can't abuse the person who rejects me or what I have to say, NOR can I remain silent if they abuse me for saying it. My objection to psychiatry is not to their right to disagree with me, nor even their lack of belief, but to their unquestioned power and control over my life and mind, when they do disagree and force their beliefs upon me against my will.
We must all be able to speak and to retain the right to disagree, without going beyond that to an abuse of power and control.
Instead of setting such a huge goal to "bring spirituality to the world" , only to be devastated if the world doesn't take your offer, focus on bringing a peaceful spirit just to you. Be selfish first. It's OK. When you do it, you can demonstrate it's effects, so the world, (or some of it) will take an interest in how you managed to do that.
In the past some have said, "Love and abuse go together." They don't really. But it sounds like maybe you think if you don't accept the abuse, you won't get the love either. My answer to that is, abuse isn't love. The aren't any more related than rape is to sex. Almost technically the same act. But completely opposite spirits. They can't be confused. But they often are confused by people who have been sexually abused, which is understandable.
I used to believe that if I could just find the right way to get through to somebody, he or she would say, "Oh! That 's what was wrong. Now I understand," and everything would then be fine. I now know some people, even some who were supposed to love me, were not interested in being "gotten through to." Some don't want to face, or deal with anything that will cause them to have to think they were wrong to try to control others as if it were a right. .
Part of being centred at a "safe level" is letting go of the expectation or need to change others and the need to be validated by others. We can WANT to share with others and want validation from others, but we can't NEED it. We have to get that first for ourselves from within and from those who are willing to give it. If they don't want to, telling them the same thing a thousand different ways won't change that.
Share with everyone and connect to those who are willing and be willing to let go of those who aren't. That way, we don't "suffer" rejection. We just accept rejection. Until all of humanity reaches psycho-spiritual perfection, we will be accepted by some and rejected by others, and we in turn, will do the same. As we work our way to enlightenment, on both an individual and collective basis, choosing our own path and rejecting other paths is part of the trip. I believe that in the ultimate reality, we will all end up in the same place. There and then we will utter a collective, "OH. I see. I am. We are. We only needed to stand still, see with our eyes, and hear with our ears, feel with our metaphorical hearts, what was right in front of us all along."