Wednesday, July 26, 2006

The Total Control People

By Patricia Lefave, Labeled, D.D.(P)

The same thing that keeps the cult operational, keeps the dysfunctional family operational. The one at the top of the pyramid of power, makes the rules. The Primary rule is: You aren't allowed to find any fault in the one on top, nor his system, because the fault will be found in the fault finder for doing so.
(Infinite Loop)

The group, unaware of the leader's hidden agenda, supports the rule, and invalidates the reality of the situation in which they are playing an unwitting part. As long as the individual in the victim role can neither change the situation nor escape it, (no Rescuer) the pressure will continue to build until something gives.

The current mental health system is operating the same way, wanting even more unquestioned power for itself,than it had before rather than focusing on teaching personal boundary skills and obtaining and using appropriate power to those who are sick because they either violate the boundaries of others (sociopaths) or they can't get others out of their boundaries (schizophrenics).

The people most likely to understand the "game" paradigm are those who have played these roles before in some way in their lives. We already recognize "the Game".
The sociopaths don't like those they victimize much because we tend to prevent them from getting their "fix"; the addiction to power over others. That's what they use to make themselves feel better. This is why dysfunctional family members need to learn how to blame appropriately, while letting go of vengeance. Dysfunctional people don't know the difference between blame and vengeance, or even that there is one.

I believe the police perspective on things could help psychiatry become more realistic in it's dealings with all troubled and abused people. Police would find it ludicrous to say to the victim of violence or scams, "Why don't you stop that whining, learn how to forgive your assailant and let it go?
Perhaps that's because police see the concrete results of the acting out of unresolved conflicts. Yet that is what many of us get to listen to all the time from psychiatrists.

Unless this cycle of abuse of power, "other" control and invalidation of the victims is interrupted, I believe it's only going to get worse. It's time everyone focused on SELF control, which is much more than self restraint. Equally important is the ability, missing in most dysfunctional families, to psychologically block the attempts of others to take control that does not belong to them. This is the essence of Co-Dependent "sickness", and it's a metaphysical "sickness" not a physical one. We can't "cure" psycho-spiritual pain with a scalpel or a pill. We all need to face the Reality of that.

Perhaps the reason the Mad Doctors and the Mad Woman understand each other best, is because we've all been programmed with the same dysfunctional concepts; some in families and some at Med. School. But, we all know, at an intuitive level, that accepting these concepts as "normal" is making us all sick. Instead, we need to start exposing those who promote manipulative control of others as "superiority" and STOP "overlooking" it and "forgiving" those who have no conscience or empathy.

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