Thursday, September 07, 2006
The Stalking Behaviour of Bus Drivers
Today is September 7th, 2006.
Giving Everyone A Visual From the Other Point of View
This morning, I came out of my apartment just in time to spot three bus drivers, on foot, walking past my apartment. As soon as they spotted me, they turned quickly down the side street in what I perceived (with my usual perception problems) as an attempt to hide. So, I walked down to the square, keeping pace with them for part of the way going down Exhibition street.
One of them was a blond female driver who is a newer one, though I found that out later. At first I thought she might be Sue, who is on of the long time drivers involved in assessing and analyzing the situation all the way back to 93, along with the two male drivers whom this new one was with today.
I managed to identify them and one of them already knows that.
Route 52, bus number 190. This is the thin dark haired guy who also used to watch where I was going in the past and announce it to other drivers who reported it to whom? Dale perhaps, or one of his co-workers? This one has also received more gossip from Deb A. on Earl St. , who of course, also thinks I don't know about it, as mentioned previously in this blog.
Route 24, bus number 184: This is the blond woman but it was not Sue. She is part of the newer group.
Route 51, bus # 173: This is the guy I used to refer to as "Bobby pink glasses", though I am not sure if that is his given name and though he no longer wears the pink glasses. He also knows Tina from Homewood. The one who "comforts" Poor Dale and the one whose sister Peggy and mother call me stupid from four or five feet away.
Do this bunch also report to Louis E. who also reports to David E. of Comcare Kitchener? Probably. If there is one thing consistent in this it is the "covert" ops and the lack of any direct genuine communication by those whose business it is to do so. After all, you can't go by anything I say, as they so often tell each other. Gossip and assessing everything I do or say, from a distance is apparently much more reliable.
The chances are, that if asked, these three bus drivers, (Part of my delusional belief system as assessed by the 'experts') will either deny this outright, or claim their walking up the street by my place and then running around the corner is just a "coincidence" in an endless string of them. If, or when they do, you can bet that any fault in this will be found in ME and not them, as always, and a new round of public hissing and growling at me will follow.
The problem here is not in MY awareness of this, nor my reactions to it.
The problem is in the group behaviour and the subsequent denial of it or excusing it all.
Take this incident this morning and multiply by thousands of people and then try to imagine what it is like to be on the receiving end of it for over a decade, while kept in isolation so that you can't bother anybody about it by accusing them, supposedly "falsely." Now try to imagine having it all denied and redefined as your paranoid "delusions" and hallucinated conversations and being forced out of your job and harassed without end, basically for thirteen or fourteen years while all those involved in it in the first place kept right on behaving the same way, and kept right on denying it just as they always had.
Would you be angry? Frightened? Frustrated? Resentful?
If the answer is no, then you wouldn't mind if the same thing was done to you would you? If you DO mind, then it is reality that you are splitting in two and you are doing it to get yourselves off the hook by hanging your victim on it to suffer all the losses resulting form it in your place. As Dale has pointed it out in his usual vague way, we are as scapegoats.
We who ARE the scapegoats already know that.
One more little thought for you bus drivers who are NOT doing what I only "claim" you do. Try to imagine your own behaviour multiplied by a few thousand people. Then try to see the difference between your point of view and the one I get. Do you "get it yet? or are you going to remain in your group denial?
Now let's see if I can get though those incredibly thick skulls of yours.
Human being who are treated like objects of observation, gossip or entertainment are angry BECAUSE we are treated like objects. Period. Dysfunctional Pi children. Just as you would be if that was done to you.
You are not now, nor have you ever been "hidden." What you are is boundary violating idiots who excuse your own behaviour by deluding yourself that it is all very mysterious and not understood by me. The "delusions" belong to you and you are reinforcing them in each other.
If psychiatry wants to solve this problem it is first going to have to face the reality of it, and then, it is going to have to shift it's focus. When they spend one tenth as much time preaching at people like you to get back in your own boundaries and stay there, as they have preaching at the victims being watched followed and reported on by the likes of you to deny the reality of it all, they will see "mental illness" begin to disappear, almost as if like "magic."
Time to "Do something about It."