Friday, June 05, 2009

The Psychiatric Dance

By Patricia Lefave, labelled, Delusional Disorder, Paranoid

You cannot tell a psychiatrist that you are the target of an aggressor with a hidden agenda and expect to be heard by the psychiatrist. Here is the reason why.

You tell a psychiatrist that you are a target of someone and that you are being watched, followed and reported on by people who are strangers to you but who are reporting to someone who lets you know that he has access to you anytime he wants it. You realize your stalker wants to see how afraid you are and that he is enjoying himself by doing this".

The psychiatrist asks you, "how long have you been 'feeling' this way and what makes you 'think' that this is happening?"
What your psychiatrist really believes is in the questions he asks. There will be no talking your psychiatrist into hearing you after that because NOW, everything you say that is the truth, will be heard by your psychiatrist as a symptom 'proving' it is your 'illness' talking. Your psychiatrist is an expert and is very sure he understands your experience better than you do. Your psychiatrist has already been trained to hear what you say in the terms of his own training. In other words, he (or she) cannot really hear you at all. S/he can only hear what you say as pre-defined meanings and this has occurred long before you even walked in the door.Of course, you will not know that until later on when you realize this truth only AFTER it is too late.

So, you have now entered The Tautology Zone, The Nexus of Meaning, the Razor's Edge of Sanity/Insanity, and what happens next goes like this:

Your psychiatrist sees that you 'believe' you are a 'target' of someone and that you 'imagine' you are being 'watched, followed and reported on' by 'strangers' who do not know you but who have somehow been manipulated to report to your 'stalker.' (oh you poor paranoid thing you) You have 'admitted' that you feel fear (which of course is not 'real' fear but merely some sort of bad brain chemistry problem which will be checked off on the symptom list as well) Your fear will grow as you realize you are not being heard or taken seriously.Since the psychiatrist has decided you need 'help' (not help) you will be watched to see what you do or say next. Anything you say that suggests you 'believe' that you are being 'watched' will be heard in clinical terms. This is because the watchers have deluded themselves that you cannot see or understand them since you are defined by them as 'inferior' and perhaps (most likely in fact) a genetic defective. SINCE you cannot see or understand them, THEY cannot BE among the people watching, following and reporting on you. Therefore the people you 'think' are doing that must be imaginary people who exist nowhere but within your own mind. Since they exist nowhere but in your own mind, this is another indicator that you are very ill. Your fear now increases as you realize the implications for you in the experts thinking processes. As you realize no one is going to help you and you are now also in danger of being locked up and psychiatrized, your fight or flight response kicks into high gear, and the non stop adrenaline production keeps you awake and running in high gear as you search for ANY way out of the tautological trap that you now understand you are caught within. You will find no answers, no matter how hard your brain works by searching for it. Soon the lack of sleep, the stress, the confusion and the very real sense of being controlled by others who talk as if they were automatons, will begin to drive you into the altered state known as psychosis.

Your psychiatrist will not be at all surprised by this of course as he was expecting it. For your own good more people will watch you follow you and report on you, in 'secret' of course, certain that they are not a part of the 'imaginary' people you 'believe' to be watching you, following you and reporting on you. If this goes on long enough before your complete mental breakdown, you may begin to laugh. It is so absurd you cannot help it. If you do though, the watchers and followers will understand that 'laughing for no reason' is another symptom of your mental illness. The prophecy has been fulfilled. They now have enough 'symptoms' on the check list to give you a 'good' objective diagnosis. Usually this will be: schizophrenia, (or one of the sub group) bi-polar disorder, delusional disorder or borderline disorder. This may reflect the individual's psychiatrist's beliefs and will be subject to change, often frequent, in your future as a mad person dependent upon WHOM you are assigned as your doctor. Nothing you say after that will change anything other than in minor ways. The doctors are always right. That is because the diagnoses they give you are based on beliefs not medicine.

It is unlikely that the original cause of your breakdown will EVER be known or understood since those diagnosing you think they already understand it perfectly and there is nothing YOU can tell them that will change that.
Welcome to your new career as a mad person. Now anyone can violate your personal boundaries anytime they like and there is not a damned thing you can do about it as it is 'official' and you are now invisible as a human being.

Don't worry too much though as anytime you show any fear or distress you will be tranquilised right away. It is for your own good. After all, the world does not want crazy people like you running around loose, unmedicated and accusing others 'falsely.'Those in charge want to make you as close to being like THEM as they possibly can.

It's all just a matter of changing your perspective perspective. Because they don't like to change THEIRS.

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