Wednesday, May 25, 2011

Invisible as a Human Being

By Patricia Lefave, Monophrenic

Many years ago as I watched the “normal” acting out and making derogatory comments about me right in front of me as if I wasn't really there, I asked myself, “Am I invisible to them or do they somehow believe they are invisible to me?”

Many of my fellow psychiatrized actually believe, as I once thought of myself, that ALL such people are either doing it on purpose to get a distress reaction with which they are “entertaining” themselves[1] or they are “pretending” to be stupid[2].

I now understand that I was really using the wrong conjunctive.  It's not “OR” at all; it's “ALSO.”   Those who cannot see me as the human being that I am ALSO cannot see themselves as the people they obviously are. They are not really opposites at all. They go together as part of the maintenance of their dysfunctional relating. The delusional belief by such people that I am their “inferior” and therefore they are virtually invisible to me goes with their belief that they are “superior”  to me and therefore they can act out right in front of me like I am not there for in their delusional sense of self they are invisible to me.  The fact is, that with such people I am not relevant at all as anything other than their own projection screen.  That is the “movie” or “story” they have going in their own heads and has no more to do with me than if I was a prop in their “play”[3] about themselves.

They are wrong on both counts.

The delusional group members isolate and invalidate me and my perceptions so that I won’t ruin their “game” by asking them any questions they don’t like, or by telling them anything about either me or themselves that they really don’t want to know. To do so would bring and end to all the self deluded “fun.”

Then they would end up knowing they were just equals; no more and no less.

How could they ever hide in plain sight again if they were to know that?

[1]       And SOME of them are doing just that.
[2]       And though some of them ARE pretending, MOST of them are not “pretending” at all.
[3]       Which besides meaning “fun” also means “act” and they ARE acting.

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