Test Levels

By Patricia Lefave

For those of you who assess me in my presence like I am not really there and who do this as, but some, of thousands of others just like you:

Does my AWARENESS of you and all that you have to say change your evaluations of me at all? Or does it change your evaluations of yourselves and your own awareness levels? The answer to that question is usually, “no.”

THIS is what it is like to be the group's assessed and evaluated one. Of course you must also never fail to add this part:

(Get the POINT: This group acting out is denied to exist and is then re-framed and explained AWAY as my paranoid delusions, hallucinated conversations and attention seeking behaviours because that is HOW dysfunctional groups make REALITY ITSELF disappear, by proclaiming It to be a problem of perception/reaction located WITHIN the one the groups define as “defective” for having an unwanted awareness of THEM and of what they do as a group. This is group related consciousness splitting. It is also the means of producing a paradox.)

Remember now...if I don't speak up then I deserve what I get AND if I DO speak up, then I am getting just what I deserve. I'm a very “deserving” person, aren't I?

You see... you who “test” us; our reactions to you are NOT based on your level of awareness but are based on our own.

Our “testers” test us to see what kind of a reaction they can get. Often, when they do this, we look shocked or confused. The tester assumes that is the reaction to the test itself; that it is the reaction of an inferior, tested one to the superior tester's test question or performance.

Most often though, the reason we look confused or shocked is because we are wondering – why is this ass-hole testing me? What, exactly, is it that this moron is trying to do? What's with the duplicitous performance bit? Or perhaps, it might be....who the hell is THIS sanctimonious, overbearing jack ass who is so bloody arrogant that s/he thinks s/he has the right to “test” me just to see what kind of a reaction s/he can get?

Of course most of us being tested for reactions are too polite to actually SAY that to our testers directly. Finally, I am learning to be a lot less polite and a lot more like my testers who are teaching me by their example, how to be more normal... like them.