Thursday, May 06, 2010

As the Object of Observation...

..One of the Most Consistently Bizarre Experiences

is that of observing a group of people blind and deaf to themselves, observing me while seeing NO connection at all to my statement that groups of people like them are standing around and talking about me like I am not there.

By Patricia Lefave, Admitted Monophrenic

“Talking about us” you see is part of the alternate universe of denial created by the Psychiatric Faith to explain it all AWAY.

Psychiatry and many others want the truth about the dysfunctional majority pushed AWAY please, and “do not make us look too closely at the reality of the world we would all rather not see, thank you.”

They want us all to comply with their group denial.

Let me give you an example of this group behaviour as seen from MY point of view.

A group of six recently stood on the other side of an open doorway, obviously discussing me. They turned as a group, smirking away, eyes aglow with the usual amusement and one of them said,

“I wouldn't be surprised if she believed we were talking about her right now. She is looking right at us”....then they laughed.

As the 'objective observers” that you sane people believe yourselves to be, what so you think that meant? Do you think you know? Are you positive?

This is the kid of scene, repeated often, that we whack jobs often first believe MUST be a joke that includes us, or if not we sometimes come to believe that this is a group of people harassing us for the 'fun' of it and they won't stop even when asked to do so. Sometimes, if it goes on long enough we conclude that this group is TRYING to drive us into psychosis deliberately and that they are just plain evil.

What makes it multiple choice of course is a number of things. One is that there is never any genuine DIRECT communication with any of them and they refuse to do so. They routinely treat us on the receiving end of the group behaviour as 'less than' their presumably 'normal' selves.

Another factor is that words are seriously limiting in specific meaning and rely heavily on CONTEXT as well as body language, facial expression and emotional content to convey any clear meaning. When I am treated like an object OUTSIDE the relationship rather than as part OF it, I can only rely on a kind of guesswork within the limits of what I am perceiving. The fact is though that with such dysfunctional groups, I am perceiving much MORE that they imagine I could be so they tell themselves that I will see, hear and understand only what they intend me to, and not what they don't. They then treat me 'as if' that were true, behaving and responding according to their own erroneous judgements, no personal input from me wanted or accepted, by those who are so certain their understanding of MY experience is so much better than my own. This is an extraordinary group arrogance, but it is not seen or understood that way by the group members. Of course from MY point of view it all seems quite incompressible and more than a little bit absurd.

Let's go back to the little scene describe above to show what I mean.

Do the ones saying what they saying believe or know I can hear them and see them at the time? That may seem an odd question to YOU, but often they don't know. They don't know because their arrogant certainty that I will “not understand” what they are doing is part of their own beliefs. Now if you think about that, it can also be true. I often DON'T know what is THEY 'think' they are doing. When I ask them directly, the usually won't tell me, and sometimes they have said, “well even if we knew something we would not be telling you.” Then they play nudge, poke, wink and smirk.
Does the speaker hear his own absurdity in saying “she probably thinks we are talking about her right now?”

Does HE 'think' he is talking about me while he is DOING exactly that? Or is this one of his (and the groups) blind and deaf to themselves moments?

Is it not true that if he believes his is NOT one of the people I 'think' are talking about me WHILE he is talking about me, that HE is the one who is 'out of touch' with reality?

Is it not also true that if I 'think he is talking about me when in fact he is doing so from eight feet way, along with a group of others, that I am the one who IS 'in touch with reality?

This is how consistently crazy making this group behaviour gets of those of us who are on the receiving end of it are MORE likely we are to become the 'whack jobs' of this self fulfilling prophecy, especially if it goes on for a long time. Since no human being can stay connected to concrete reality when it is presented as multiple choice, nonstop contradiction and while being ignored, invalidated and forced into psychological isolation, the longer it goes on the more likely the result will be psychosis. Without a stable framework and within a contextual meaning, the human mind starts to fragment and to create its own 'reality' as a perfectly normal function in an attempt to stabilize, make some sense of the situation and correct it in order to function.

When I told my recovery therapist that in scenes like these I would have to ask each and every person who did this, each and every time they did it, “Is THIS one of the times when you believe I can see you and hear you, or one of the times when you don't. I have to ask as it all looks exactly the SAME to me and the reason it looks the same is because from my point of view it IS the same and has many possible meanings. It has many possible meanings because there is no REAL communication there at all matter what the case may be at the moment in question.

It should come as no surprise to you that after a long struggle with other people creating and defining our reality FOR us that we give up trying to penetrate the group delusion and stop reacting or caring about it at all..In fact, with such deluded people as these, to continue to try to resolve the situation may in fact only cause us more problems. Reacting then becomes pointless.

So now, we share the reality of this with others like us who have witnessed the same surreal events. In doing so, we reconnect and find the meaning we could not get from the supposedly SANE members of our sick, surreal society.

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