Wednesday, June 15, 2011
Looking But Not Seeing
Posted previously at another site
By Patricia Lefave, labelled D.D.(P)
One of the parts of this group phenomenon goes like this:
I will use my own experience as the example.
I have stood looking at people who were standing looking at me and talking about me in the third person as if I was not really there. When you are psychiatrized it happens even more often than it did before the labelling procedure. To be able to be 'get' this you need to know what is going on with BOTH parties, on BOTH sides, of the nexus of meaning. One side, of course, which will lead the 'mob' side yet to come, has NO interest in genuine direct communication or in resolution. So if you try to ask him or her what is going on, you will most likely get either a false answer, or, more often, no answer at all.
Now to understand it, think of it like this.
I stand and look at someone who is looking back at me.
a. The one looking back at me believes he is seeing me as I am, and himself as he really is but also believes that I am NOT seeing either myself as I really am, or him as he is.
b. At first, I believe that that he sees me as I really am and also he is aware that I can see him as he really is.
Both of the above beliefs ( a and b ) are errors.
In reality, he is LOOKING at me but not seeing me, not looking at himself at all, and is unaware that I see both him and I as we really are.
I am looking back at him and SEEING him, as well as myself, as we really are, BUT I am UNAWARE that he cannot see me, seeing him. Are you confused? Well. You are far from alone in that.
Unless one of us actually understands it and wants to resolve the problem, neither of us will ever 'get it.' That is because both will try to FIT the other and the circumstances into some way of understanding it that makes sense to the one trying to fit it together. As long as there is too much missing information, it can't be done. Even if one of us reaches the point where we DO understand it, it does not guarantee the understanding will be accepted or heard by the others.
This 'difference' is the difference between relating as equal humans and relating as 'superiors' to 'inferiors.' (or visa versa) The false (opposing) premise CHANGES the meaning of everything that follows it. So it IS like being in an 'alternate universe.' The metaphor of the 'alien' is right on target. It is a completely surreal experience, especially on the receiving end of it, as we are usually alone and being pressured by a 'mob' to accept an alternate version of our own reality, which allows THEM to keep their false premise of reasoning INTACT and their belief in their superior understanding in place as well.
When people with hidden agendas of power and control involve themselves in relationships like this, and especially when they involve third parties, the goal is to KEEP information OUT of the picture which would allow anyone else to really understand what is going on.
This has a lot to do with the harping on 'letting it go...' Those contemptuous people who involve themselves in the mobbing aspect of this do so for no other 'reason' than the opportunity to do so was presented to them... so they took it. The reason they take the opportunity to act out is because it is an emotionally cathartic action which has been socially sanctioned. After all, you cannot act out like this on just anyone. It has to be someone the group sanctions as expendable, like me.